Totally Frustrated

WARNING: Vegas is fattening! With all the buffets and slot machines who wouldn’t get fat – well that would be the case for me IF I participated in either activity (using the word activity VERY loosely). I have eaten at ONE casino buffet and it was gross and it was last summer – when I was still loosing weight and a Utah resident. And I think gambling is the stupidest invention yet so I promise that is not happening – so it must just be my zip code!


 Now we all know that for a little bit there I had what drs call a little bit of an eating problem – as is evidenced by my XXXL award.

But I swear on my kiddos life (of course I pick the expendable ones) that that has changed. No really! Like I announced I am in training for a marathon.

Although I used to be a runner – I realize there was NO way I could just start running again – especially at this weight. So I decided I would do yoga 3x a week and ride my bike 3x a week – in addition to my mile walk and occasional Kinect Sports. Good plan right. I also got in touch with a friend who is a personal trainer and wellness coach and she gave me a food plan and some tricks. I have done a ton of research on tips and tricks to lose weight. I have come up with a few simple changes that should really jump-start my weight loss…

1. I keep a food journal. Confession – Hate it! Ugh! It is awful and really – like I can’t just “forget” to write something down. But – I don’t cheat. I keep this stupid journal.

2. I eat breakfast each morning – sadly not a doughnut – real have-to-cook oatmeal, an egg cooked in olive oil, and a piece of fruit for breakfast.

3. I eat on a toddler size blue plate (I read that blue makes you feel full and a smaller plate makes you eat less- except when you have 4 servings in which case you should save yourself the time and just pile it on one larger plate).

4. I have a veggie or a Fiber One bar (yes! just one – believe me you can’t eat more that one without very serious negative gastrointestinal consequences) for a snack.

5. I have a homemade dinner always with veggies, again on my blue toddler plate.

6. NO DESSERET! Can you tell I hate that part! I read recipes now and dream of what they must taste like 🙂

7. I drink about 128 oz of water a day or more. I pee about 128 times a day. I am supposedly “flushing out the fat!” And the 256 laps to the bathroom has to burn at least a couple of calories.

8. I drink 8oz of nonfat milk with meals to make me fill fuller and provide me with protein and essential vitamins. 🙂

 9. I walk a mile each day, I play Kinect sports for an hour a day, and I run a household (that SHOULD count for something!). As planned I did try yoga again – but my belly fat actually got in the way. Is that the grossest visual ever!?! As I fell out of my pathetic attempt at triangle pose I almost cried! to make matters worse I got a flat tire on my first bike ride attempt!

10. I am taking my vitamin D supplement and sit in the sun for 20 minutes a day (want to be tan and thin – not working)

11. I try to go to bed by 10 and get up by 7:30.

12. I am chewing my food slower. I actually time myself to make sure I take 30 minutes to eat. I sit down when I eat. I put my fork down between bites! THIS IS SO HARD FOR ME!!!!!

13. I keep my house cold – shivering burns calories ya know! This is Art’ s favorite part!

14. I’ve given up my precious Coke Zero ( and no I didn’t replace it with Pepsi Max).

15. I eliminated fast food (hadn’t eaten it since I started this dumb goal).

16. 80% + of my food is whole, natural, and single ingredient (see 2 and 4 for examples).

17. I chew sugar-free gum after meals – thanks Bob from Biggest Loser.

So good list right! Great changes! Nothing about starving or laxatives or abusing my kids ADHD meds right!

Week One down! I can do this right. . . 

So – how much weight have I lost this week in preparation for my marathon – drum roll please…….

NONE! YEP! That’s right – and to add injury to insult – I’ve gained weight! So the question then must be asked – WHAT THE HECK!?!

The only conclusion I can derive is the Vegas is fattening! Or I need to try laxatives!


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